As much as I enjoy talking to people about things that interest me and passing on information, I'm "afraid" to speak publicly. Now, the reason I've placed asterisks around the word is because I'm wondering if this is truth. Or is it simply a past limitation I'm holding on to by habit? I mean, I enjoy the rush and yes, I wish I were better at it but am I really that afraid if I'm constantly searching for opportunities to prove otherwise?
I ask myself this because, in the continuous search of self discovery, I've found I've held on to a few habits that no longer stand true. Example... when I was younger, I used to love reading but HATED to be stuck in the kitchen cooking. So I would turn the fire up high in hopes of getting the darn thing over with so I could finish my book. Anyone who cooks know this is a recipe for disaster...I usually ended up with "out and in" food... burnt on the outside and raw on the inside. Ugh! To this day, my sisters say I can't cook, although they haven't had a bad meal prepared by me yet. And up until I had my children, I believed them...even when I knew my food was actually quite delicious!
I also started driving at a later age than most folks my age at the time. So, with my late start, and learning in the DC metro area, I had major apprehension of driving in unknown places because of my fear of getting lost. Now, the GPS has been in existence for quite a while, however, I still felt as if that was a fear of mine. So every time I was tasked to drive to a new location I jumped right into this whole panic mode. And when I thought about the whole situation, I found I actually enjoyed going new places! My earlier fear of not being comfortable with driving held on with no proof of the truth being present.
We've all heard something said or described about us that we continue to hold on to even without there being proof of it being present in our lives. Even if it had once been that way, we still held / hold on to it because, well, that's just the way it's always been. Even the negative things.
When I finally caught myself being constantly praised for a good meal or not being afraid about driving in new places, it was like a weight had lifted! I no longer had to have the anxiety and worry that came with "being" those things or following the expectations that come with the attributes!!
When was the last time you've checked your so-called truths? Do you still accept the "truth" made by the 7-year old who called you ugly in grade school? Do you still believe you are that impatient person your family member dubbed you as, even though YOU can't see this in yourself yet still find yourself over-extending yourself, trying to improve this so-called "fact" about you? ...that in fact, may not even exist any more?
The truth is, sometimes folks say things and then repeat them just because! And if we hear it often enough, we believe it. It's time to UN-believe it! Don't live your present on a past lie! Search for your own truth and don't let anyone else prescribe YOU to you again! If you want to accept something as truth, accept this.... YOU. ARE. THE. PERFECT. YOU. Now, how about that?
With love. <3
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