"Sometimes we have to provide our own closure. Please don't stay in a space where you're unhappy for too long. If it's meant to be, it'll work out but you don't have to stay in unhappiness until it does."
This is the advice I gave a young lady in regards to trying to "get closure" from a boyfriend. He was entertaining a "friend", known to have a crush on him, and when questioned or asked to end the ambiguity around the relationship, he pleaded ignorance and refused.
Ladies, (and guys too!) when our mates refuse to do even the most simple things to show us consideration and respect, we have to stop seeking closure from these people. Nine times out of ten, they're not going to give it to you! Why? Because if easing your mind was their priority, you wouldn't be in the situation to start with.
For some reason, we feel the need to let someone know, that we know, what they already know. If a person is cheating on you, and you've found proof, why do you need to let them know, that you know, that they were behaving badly? THEY ALREADY KNOW!!!... or it wouldn't have been hidden to start with! To ask "Why?" is truly a waste of time...unless you're saying there's a reason that you'll accept for a person to plot and plan to intentionally hurt you. Yeah, he/she will begin the explanation off with the exact opposite sentiment of, "I never meant to hurt you", except...they DID! If you think about the conniving and the lead and back stories it takes to explain missing hours, hidden texts and phone calls, you'll see he/she indeed knew it would hurt you but chose to do the act anyway.
I understand. We want an answer...preferably something that'll make us feel better about the situation. We want something to hold on to so we can avoid having to wonder what our friends will think; what our family will think. We don't want to be lonely or have to be the proverbial third wheel while our friends ooze "love and companionship". We don't want to feel as if something is wrong with us for not being able to stay in a relationship...
This is the thing folks, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS! This is about YOUR life and YOUR happiness. Unless you're telling me you'd rather live in pretense, void of true happiness than have a stranger or people who are suppose to be your friend/family judge you. *And deep inside, we all know if they are true friends, that wouldn't even be an issue. That you'd rather stay in that place of unhappiness and unfulfillment to evoke emotion from someone who obviously don't have your best intentions in heart to start with. When you think about it, MOST times we stay in bad relationships to PROVE something to someone who ISN'T your friend.
STOP wasting your time worrying and wondering about the reactions of those around you. These folks won't be there when you're sitting home alone wondering where your "mate" is or who he's with; these folks won't be the one suffering when said mate loses all respect for you and leave you anyway, these folks won't matter in the least when you're sitting in your last moments, wondering how you allowed ego and pride to deprive you of a life of happiness and self love.
If you are going through the belly-tightening, nauseous feeling, all consuming stage of finding "closure", please, I offer you this...CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR YOURSELF and get to moving! Like I said above, if it's meant to be, it will be, trust that...but you need to keep moving; they'll just have to play "catch up" because stopping, for you, isn't an option!
With Love.
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