Guard YOU!

Good morning y’all.  I read a question on social media asking where has the romance gone.  My response was, “a high-tech, fast-paced world = a high-tech fast-paced romance”.  It seems with all the new technology of today, to include snapchat, IM'ing, online dating, tinder, etc…the notion of “easy does it” has fallen by the wayside. 

What happened to waiting, male and female, before sharing your body with someone?  Or dating for longer than 10 minutes before you proclaimed “relationship goals”?  Yes, true romance seems to have died a painful death.  Have we truly gotten so insecure that we feel the only way to someone’s heart is by sharing the one thing that should be so precious to us?  I’m in no way a prude and I’m not judging anyone’s liberation, I’m just asking what has really happened to getting to know someone first?

Do you ever wonder why you feel a certain way after a hateful person comes around and infect your mindset with all the bad things they are experiencing?  Even if, before they arrived you were feeling happy, when they leave you feel like your spirit has been drained.  That’s because their negative energy has been transferred to you and therefore, you then feel some of the residual effects of that negativity. 

This is the same thing that happen when we share our “energy”, our bodies, with folks who may not be good for us.  We are ALL energy.  When we are intimate with others , that energy is shared, transferred and exchanged.  In essence, you are gathering into you all of the “stuff” that individual has experienced…and all the stuff that individual’s experience has experienced.  Why shouldn’t we be a little more careful?

As I said, I'm not judging in any way, just want to bring a little light to a situation.  Sex does NOT equate to LOVE; it does not guarantee acceptance, it does not make you something more than you were before the act. 

Guard your essence like you would guard your home and most valuable possessions.  There will always be thieves out here trying to take all that they can take.  GUARD YOU!!

...and in the event no one has told you today, you are special and I love you.  <3

It's Alive!!!

Ok, so it's not quite Frankenstein but I have officially "promoted" my business page on Facebook.  If you are so inclined, I would be honored if you stopped by and checked it out.  If you are interested in future events, "Like" the page and if you're feeling extra cocky, IM me letting me know you stopped by!  I'm at:  www.facebook.com/RHRNLifeCoaching

Toodles!

What's up with all these videos??

Hey y'all,

So, to explain why the influx of videos below...  I'm doing relationship Q&As on my facebook business page   www.facebook.com/rhrnlifecoaching  and just decided to include the videos here.  These were done over about a week or so time and I will probably continue it for maybe another week. 

If you have any questions you'd like me to give my opinion on, email it to me at   RHRN@trenajones.com   All identities will remain anonymous unless specifically requested.  Bring'em on...and I'll do my best to provide a response! 

Toodles!

Relationship Q&A "What's up with all these older men with very young bab...

Relationship Q&A: "What do women really want in a relationship?"

Relationship Q&A #2

Relationship Q&A

PTP Note .... Take Care of the Babies!

I've awaken from a "dream" for about three nights straight about someone neglecting their child...a very young child.

Check for leg/torso burns, being left alone, unattended.

People, please take care of your children..and be on the lookout for those who don't!!

We Are What We...Think

I was speaking with a client who thought her issue was one thing but through our session, she realized it was something totally different from what she'd originally thought.

Sometimes, the decisions we make in areas of our lives are really symptoms of other things that are buried beneath our conscious minds.  With life coaching, the important questions are asked to help you find your answers and your REAL life blocks. 

Soon after my divorce was final, I found myself a magnet for men who were, let us just say, “working on themselves”.  I honestly thought the Universe was playing games with me, trying to teach me some valuable lessons about humbleness!!  Now don’t get me wrong, what we go through is all part of our personal growth, however, I was beginning to think the Universe and I were going to need to have a serious sit down!!  But after some much needed self-reflection, I realized it wasn’t the Universe playing tricks, it was my mindset!

Growing up in an environment that was less than rich...much less than rich... seeing almost all of the young men in my life in some form of “growth”, I had taken on the female version of Captain Save-A-Ho! ..lol..  I called it the “Chief Save a Chump” syndrome.  Not only did I want to lift men up, I wanted to feel as if I was the pivotal point in their lives…I wanted to be looked at as that “got it together” chick. 

Turns out, men my age (40+) who need a woman to save them, aren’t really trying to be saved, they’re trying to be kept.  We need to let them save themselves!  But I can promise you this, as soon as my mindset changed, a totally new type of man began to show up. 

Now, let me say this…the “new type of man” showing up weren’t all necessarily FOR ME, but that homeless, jobless, transportation-less type of guy definitely disappeared. 

Ok, so all of this to say this…  once we change the way we think, change our mindset, that change is going to be what we will bring into our lives. 

So, … how are YOU thinking?

You can email me at RHRN@trenajones.com if you want to talk about it.  :-)

Recognize and Trust Your Intuition!

Sometimes we go through something that at the other end of it, we’re less trusting…not just less trusting of others but of ourselves as well.  We are hesitant to rely on our intuition once we feel we’ve “allowed” ourselves to be tricked or played or whatever you want to call it.

We wonder if we can trust our judgement of others because, if not for our flawed judgement, how in hell did we not see him/her for who they really were, right?  The thing is, we DID see it.  We just chose to make excuses for someone else’s bad behavior because the excuses made US feel better.

Think about it…when you look back on any perceived failed relationship, every single sign of “assclown-ery” was there and WE SAW IT!  Some of us even had conversation about it with ourselves to convince us we may be mistaken.

So instead of immediately acting on the red flags we saw from the beginning, we decided to overthink it to stay in what could POSSIBLY be “The” relationship; to avoid giving up something that MAY be good.    Come on, you can admit it, we’ve all done it.

Now, it’s time to LEARN from all of the past lessons.  Time to recognize the symbols and signs of things that are not good for us…signs that YOU ARE ALREADY FAMILIAR WITH!

From that sinking feeling in your belly, to the heavy drag of insecurity, to the secret dose of shame.  We don’t just know it, we feel it. 

I have discovered one simple exercise to help me recognize and identify the signs of maltreatment.  And that’s simply to do this…  Put yourself in that person’s shoes and THINK about what would make YOU respond and/or act the way they do/did.  What type of mindset would YOU have to be in to do what is being done to you by the other person. 

Here’s an example of what I mean.  You’ve called this person two or three times, left a message, and sent a text (which, by the way, you sent because you made up an excuse as to why he/she hadn’t responded to your ten calls and voice messages).  When you put yourself in the absentee’s shoes, you will know if someone you were interested in called you, you would call them back as soon as you could and if you couldn’t call them, you would send a quick text to let them know what was going on and why you couldn’t talk at that time.  However, if you’re NOT interested, you may respond exactly as he/she has responded….not at all.

I promise you, if you HONESTLY do this exercise every time you feel any of those highlighted phrases up there in paragraph 6, you will be that much closer to recognizing and moving towards making the right decisions for YOU!!

How Does This Coaching Thing Work...

Well...let me explain it....

It's Organic...

That’s what I’m being led to believe. My spirit says those who need me will find me…organically. Without any forced sales pitch, without any cold calls, we will simply be put in each other’s path. So my random “call to consult” will no longer be actively offered. Yes, it will be available if requested for a while but I won't initiate the process.

There are always the initial consult calls, you know, the call where we see if we’re a good fit to work together? I wouldn’t feel right asking someone to pay for something they’re not comfortable in, therefore those will always be free of charge.

So, I’ll let folks know what I have to offer, place my cards where they can be seen; if I’m moved to pass one on, I will. I know this is what I’m supposed to do. I’m okay with this process.

If you need me, email me at: RHRN@trenajones.com