Getting to Self Love

I've morphed...well, my life coaching business has morphed.  It's basically streamlining into something even more focused.  Originally, my main focus was on relationships--all relationships, from mate-to-mate, friend-to-friend, even group coaching.  But I've discovered, in order to get in, be in, or stay in, ANY form of relationship, we must first "relate" to one important person... OURSELVES!  Thus begin the pathway of focus on self care / self love...

Choosing to love yourself may seem like a simple, natural thing to do, maybe something that happens without even having to give much thought behind it.  But honestly, sometimes we have to be reminded to love and care for ourselves.  Or sometimes because of past decisions or past happenings, we find it's much harder to achieve the overwhelming love for ourselves that others may seem to easily have figured out how to do.  We get so into blaming ourselves and/or doing for others, we forget about giving ourselves even the little things to show gratitude.  Not voicing that energy into the Universe hinders our progression, making it difficult for us to stay strong and be able to provide "whole" love to others. 

So why not start at the baseline?  Why not start at a space that can lead to heathy, viable relationships of ANY kind?  Why not start with YOU? 

And so it begins....

November 6th I will be holding a FREE teleseminar.  This seminar will introduce you to the month-long teleseminar I will be offering titled "A Month of Sundays".  Each Sunday, for 4 weeks, I will spend time discussing self care.  On how we can get to a much better space in our daily lives; to be the best YOU that you can be. 

And guess what?  You can join me on the FREE call on November 6th at 2:00p (EST).  All you need to do is visit my website at  www.trenajones.com  to sign up.  Once you're there, just click the "Sign Up" button and the information to call and/or listen over your computer will be sent to you prior to the call.

I look forward to seeing you on the call.  ....What??  you're still here??  Go sign up for the FREE call NOW at www.trenajones.com  !  :-)     

When They Are Ready, They Will Come...

I am a shy extrovert.  Yep, there ya go, I said it.  Shy - Extrovert - Coach  I think when most people first see me, I'm thought of as unapproachable.  I've been told that on a few occasions and I don't know why because I'm always smiling...or at least I think I am.  I just know in most situations, people don't easily approach me.  It's not until I speak or have conversation with someone else, that someone decides "I'm ok" enough to begin gravitating towards me.  ..lol..  Maybe my southern accent eases the perception, I don't know.  And the fact that I'm somewhat shy doesn't really help the situation, but this has been the way for me for most of my adult life.

I've recognized I'm usually found next to more aggressive and outgoing people...because they don't seem to care or are less concerned with the way they are perceived.  Or maybe because they're living closer to their truths, they're able to see through whatever it is I'm projecting to others.  Either way, I'm fine with this because, as I've lived, I've learned the time I get to spend observing others during the "apprehensive stage" is extremely valuable.  I get to see the "acts" of the people who surround me before actively engaging.  I can then choose who I should sidestep and who are the ones giving off negative vibes.

This observation time also allows my discernment to go to work, fully engaged.  I can pick up insecurities, feel past situations, be cognizant of underlying weaknesses.   Maybe this is why I'm cautiously approached...maybe some can "feel" my ability to actually see them for who they truly are.  If that is the case, I pray its understood I stand with no intentional judgement.

I was told by a close family member, in so many words, my coaching clients will easily find me because of my inner workings.  They will automatically gravitate towards me because the need originates internally.  And I feel that's truth.  By having this extra time which I once thought of negatively, I'm allowed time to work.  To figure things out.  For the Universe to fill me with whatever it is YOU need so that I am then able to pour back out into you.

And that's cool with me.

Random Ramblings...

Today a lady stopped to talk to me.  She said I needed to monitor the "angry" people.  She told this to me specifically to me because I was manning a booth to an event I'd helped plan at work and I was smiling, greeting and engaging with passersby. I jokingly told her, "Yes!  Maybe I should stand along the hallways and greet people, just as they do in large department stores!"  She laughed but then got serious, insisting there were too many angry people around.  I quickly stopped the joking and listened.

According to this lady, she believes she's being stalked by "angry" people.  She believes someone is breaking into her home, frightening her cats, and taking items from her home...picture frames, curtain rods, etc.  She's moved about 3 times in the last couple years.  She told me she believes she saw the culprit breaking into her neighbor's home recently...and when he saw her looking, he smiled at her with the smile of a kid who's hands have been caught in the cookie jar.

I asked her if her neighbors had reported the crime and she said, "No, but I heard the "robber" rambling through things and knocking things over."  She's determined "they" are the construction workers who are working nearby, who, by the way, are NOT Americans.  The police won't help her even after she's called them numerous times.  Her cats are now anxious and afraid because the perpetrators are harassing them when they come into her house.  She's pretty positive these are the same people who were stalking her in the past three cities she's lived in and who killed her older cat at her previous home. 

After being the recipient of several possible schizophrenia phone calls in the past, I quickly recognized her ranting about foreign stalker as something that MAY exist only in her imagination...which, I'm sure, are still very frightening if she believes her thoughts, as she obviously does since she's installed security systems, padlocks, etc., to her home.

She's alone with only her cats.  Is she lonely?  Mental issues?  Or are there really some person or persons stalking this lady?  Whatever it is, she seemed to have gotten some relief by having someone to talk to, if only for a short while.

I don't know why I chose to tell this story...maybe it's my attempt to 1- put her conversation on paper to allow me time to analyze/process our conversation; or maybe 2- to put into words how important it is for us to show compassion to our fellow man.  I don't know.  Maybe you can pull something out of it.

Change Your Thoughts...Change Your Reality

Every one of us, at some point in our lives, may feel as if we are not enough; feel as if the things we do are insignificant.   For most of us, that feeling goes away after some time, but for others, the feeling seems to stick around much longer than is healthy.   We get stuck in a funk which causes us to feel some type of way about ourselves.  The truth of the matter is, it’s ONLY A FEELING.  And you have the power to change that feeling simply by changing your THOUGHTS.

Example… Tony is a loner.  He feels as if no one understands him, that he’s a strange vegetable in a world full of fruits.  He feels the world looks at him as some strange entity and it makes him self-conscious and somewhat a loner.  Now, because of that THOUGHT, he withdraws even deeper into himself, making himself feel even more like a loner.  Because he feels ostracized, he stays at home and pretty much entertain himself with videos and old movies.  By staying at home, Tony is even less likely to meet any new people, therefore making his original thought (no one understands him and he’s looked at as strange) manifest into reality.

Now what do you think would happen if Tony changed his original thought from “no one understand me and I’m looked at as strange” to “I am a unique individual and I am an interesting person to know”?  Yes!  Tony would make himself available in situations where folks have the opportunity to meet him, which with this newfound confidence, would no doubt happen sooner than later because we all love being around confident, interesting people. 

Tony is still the same person, but he THINKS differently of himself…creating a totally new outcome from the initial example. 

You may say, “Trena, this is too simple to be real” but I promise you, when your thoughts change (and you believe them!), your reality changes!    

Questions?  Email me at:  RHRN@trenajones.com  or follow me at www.facebook.com/RHRNLifeCoaching