Body Count...To Ask or Nah?

This topic is a little controversial it seems, at least if the responses I've seen are of any indication.  The topic is to the question of "body count" (how many folks someone has slept with) and whether or not the question should be asked before going into a relationship.

I was slightly amused and a little puzzled to see folks, mostly women, actually getting upset just about the question of asking this question!  Yeah, your life and personal business is your life and personal business, however, my philosophy is, TRY to never do anything you're going to be ashamed of if it comes to light.  We're human and we make mistakes, bad decisions, etc and we live, learn and grow and any human old enough to engage in sexual relations should understand this.  So, in my opinion, to ask the question for any other reason except to deepen a bond, is just being nosy, judgmental, etc..  My thoughts, as jumbled as they may seem here is, it shouldn't be asked unless you both are ok enough with yourselves that you can maturely discuss it and/or you're ready to make a commitment that includes marriage.  And if you're uncomfortable sharing all of who you are with the person you're joining yourself with, then maybe you should rethink marrying him/her (another topic altogether!).

With all of that being said, this topic brought this to my mind...it's so amazing to me, with all of the "independent woman" proclamations being shouted quite loudly and clearly, that when your actions of independence comes into question, there's a problem.  So, does this mean this whole thing is a scam?  Are we using "independence" to counter some of the things we've done, some things we may feel deep down inside are/were not the best way of doing things as an excuse to feel better about our decisions (which, by the way, should be looked at as life lessons learned)?  Shouldn't we just accept ourselves and the choices we've made as simply life lessons which hold no right or wrong value if the lesson was gained from the interaction?  No one is perfect; no one makes no mistakes; we're all human; we can change anything we want about ourselves, or at minimum, change the way we think about it..

Ok, I've said ALL of that to say this... Let's look at it from the most simplistic way I can think of at 11:06am...  if doing it bothers you, STOP DOING IT.  Point. Blank. Period.  

Once Upon a Time....

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, kind woman.  She had herself together, was taking care of herself, making her ends meet with some leftover!  There was also this evil prince...not so much "evil" as deceitful and sneaky.  The beautiful woman knew deep down inside she deserved better but she settled for the sneaky prince because she doubted she would find better, although she claimed she trusted her God to provide.  The End.

Not a good story is it?  Don't let it be yours.

Email: RHRN@trenajones.com

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Prepping for the Okey Doke

Black people and other People of color, are in a precarious space right now.  No, not the "business as usual" stance where we are denied the better offers, followed around stores or the other ways we are discriminated against on a daily basis.  I'm specifically talking about being in the familiar position of getting the "ole Okey Doke" pulled on us once again.

We've joined the rest of America in marching and protesting against the "powers that be", yeah, it's for a good reason but I'm feeling some type of way about it.

I can imagine it has the same feel as our ancestors felt during the fight for civil rights, feminism, equal pay, etc...all of those things where the majority was extremely quick to grab us and pull us into a fight that had become theirs.  These are great causes so you may ask, what is the big deal now?

The big deal is, where were these folks just months ago when blacks and browns were marching against the killing of our brothers, sisters, children?  When we were shouting at the top of our lungs, "Hands Up" and "I Can't Breathe", with a small exception compared to this, all we got back from the masses was "...but ALL lives matter!"  And for the ones not wondering what happened before the tape started rolling, not a peep.  They sat in their homes, anxiously hoping no one pulled them into the fray, while under their breaths, they were murmuring, "Well, look at THEM and the way they act..that's why THEY get treated the way THEY do...THEY are acting like animals and thugs!!"

But now, America is treating THEM like they've treated blacks for years upon years, and suddenly we all are suppose to break our necks protesting, chanting and gathering.

Yes, the fight for right is always good but I wonder where these same folks will be once they get what THEY want.  Will they continue the fight for equal rights and treatment for blacks and other people of color once they remove the trump out of the White House?  Or will they, as history has dictated ALWAYS, conveniently forget about our struggles?  I mean, the precedence that's been set says that's exactly what will happen.  We'll become "those thugs and animals" again with a quickness.

So, I say, if and while we are out marching and chanting, make sure you get YOUR situation started and taken care of.  While you are out there "making connections", you better make sure you are doing what you need to do to stay CONNECTED.  For you, yours and your communities.  Start your businesses while the awareness that we definitely DO matter is fresh in everyone's head.  Get the connections you need to build your foundation so when the hoopla dies down, you won't have not gotten anything out of this.

Yeah, it's very reminiscent of "times o' past"....but THIS TIME, if the ole Okey Doke is pulled, you'd have gotten something out of it...not just been a willing pawn in a fight that's always been yours but you've had to fight mostly alone for a long, long time, ...until the fight became theirs.

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